Monthly Archives: January 2006

Scuffle at the In-law’s

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Well that was entertaining.  After dinner and a post-xmas gift exchange at Kelly’s dad’s/step-mom’s place, we settled in for a nice round of conversation and story telling.  It was laughs and good times all around, and then someone, who won’t be named, *cough* Kathy *cough* drove the truck right off the cliff.  Wow.

Here’s the short-short version:

KATHY: PUBLIC SCHOOLS AS WE KNOW THEM WILL SOON CEASE TO EXIST BECAUSE OF ALL THE LIBERAL *** BEING TAUGHT TO THE KIDS!!!
Kelly: Really?  Like what, for example?
KATHY: THE ACLU IS THE DEVIL!  GAHHHHHHH!!!
Kelly: (stunned silence)
KATHY: JOHN KERRY IS A WHORE!
Kelly: Great points.  Both of them.
KATHY: IF A DEMOCRAT WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE ON 9/11, WE WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP WITH OUT A FIGHT!!!  WE HAD TO TAKE OUT SADDAM TO MAKE OUR COUNTRY A SAFER PLACE!!! (Note from Jon: nevermind the fact that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11…)
KATHY: KELLY, WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE?  IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME A DETAILED, POINT-BY-POINT DISSERTATION ON MIDDLE-EASTERN FOREIGN POLICY IN THE NEXT 1.2 NANOSECONDS, I WILL FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!!
grammy: i farted once on the set of blue lagoon…
Kelly: Well, actually-
KATHY: BLAH BLAH BLAH I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!  LOUDER MEANS RIGHTER!!!  EVERYTIME YOU THINK A LIBERAL THOUGHT, A BABY BUNNY DIES A HORRIBLE DEATH!!!  *BILL O’REILLY FINGER WAGGING IN KELLY’S FACE*
Jon: Republicans are running this country into the ground.
KATHY: DEMOCRATS ARE THE DEVIL!!!  THEY EAT KITTENS FOR BREAKFAST WHILE MASTURBATING TO MICHAEL MOORE MOVIES!!!
Jon: Um, Republicans control Congress, the Presidency, and the Supreme Court.  They have dictated the policies for the past five years with little resistance from the left. 
KATHY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *head rotates around its vertical axis*
Jon: To name a few of the incompetents: Bush, Frist, DeLay, Hastert, Cheney, Ashcroft, Michael Brown… yeah, that Katrina was a rousing success!!!
KATHY: STATES’ RIGHTS!!!  LET ‘EM DIE!!!  THEY REFUSED HELP!!!  IT’S THEIR RIGHT!!!  *** ‘EM!!!
Jon: So, if the levee breaks right now, and Arnold needs and refuses help, and you lose everything… then… ***… yourself? 
Kathy: *smiles* Yeeeeesss!  Now go research it.  STATES RIGHTS!!!  AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Jon: Huh.

* Remainder of conversation redacted for purposes of basic human decency *

I’m back. Finally.

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It’s quite frustrating when your Internet connection doesn’t work.  It’s even more frustrating when it works randomly and intermittently for short spurts at a time.  The good news, though, is that SureWest fixed the problem.  There was an exposed wire that was causing a short in the line, made even worse by all of the wet weather we’ve been having in CA since mid-December.

Lots happened during my unplanned hiatus — xmas, New Years, and a couple of birthdays.  I’ll keep it short and sweet by saying thanks to everyone for a great holiday season, especially my parents who so graciously hosted big family dinners on two consecutive nights at their house.  Thanks for the great gifts, and thanks for spending time with us, exchanging stories and laughs. 

Many thanks to my parents for their excellent New Years Sukiyaki dinner, and to the Cobbmichaels for their bitchin’ and rockin’ New Years Eve celebration.  A good time was had by all.

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Lastly, happy birthday to my grandpa.  I think he turned 17 this year.

That’s it for now.  Hope everyone is having a great start to the new year!