Monthly Archives: May 2007

Dumb broad

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Normally I only utter that phrase in jest, but in this case I sincerely mean it:



A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress’ famous high life.


That’s okay.  She’s rich and famous, so she’ll probably get a work release program or something, right?



Hilton [...] must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or any electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing. 


Oh, snap! 


Paris Hilton: pwned

‘Gilmore Girls’ canceled

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Me: (singing) “Thank you for being a friend…“


Voice in my head: No, you idiot!!!  Gilmore Girls, not Golden Girls!!!


Me: Oh.  Aren’t they the same thing?


Vimh: *Thwack!*


And just like that, I forgot how to do math. 


But seriously, that just shows you how much I watch TV.  I thought the show died a long time ago, but The Bee says it was just canceled today. 


In light of this news, I just spent 5 seconds composing a nice eulogy for the show, but then I remembered I don’t care, so I caressed my butt instead.


Be gone, Gilmore Girls.  I didn’t even know you were still in the room.

Cranial-Rectal Inversion is a serious disorder

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And apparently even the Dean of Admissions at MIT is not immune to it (emphasis mine):



Marilee Jones, the dean of admissions at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, became famous for urging stressed-out students competing for elite colleges to calm down and stop trying to be perfect. [...]


Ms. Jones on various occasions had represented herself as having degrees from Albany Medical College, Union College and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, but she had no degrees from any of those places, said Phillip L. Clay, the chancellor of M.I.T. 


Ms. Jones has a brass pair on her.  To openly chide students for puffing up their applications while knowing all along that she pulled her own acadamic credentials from the deepest, darkest regions of her anal cavity, is truly awe-inspiring.  I bet this woman shaves her legs while juggling rabid weasels and rollerblading down a street covered in tacks. 


Also, she’s a hypocrit. 


Maybe. 


Just a tad.


I will give her some credit, though.  She owned up to it and didn’t blame anyone but herself.