I just recently upgraded my cell phone to a Motorola RAZR from a dinosaur.  If you're picturing this

then you aren't far off.

Anyway, when I found out that the RAZR could play MP3 ringtones, I was stoked.  I had the perfect song in mind: Metallica's Master of Puppets.  Only I didn't want the chorus, because the chorus is lame.  Anyone who knows anything about rock knows that the best part of the song is the opening riff.  So I went to Cingular's download site.  They have Metallica.  Sweet.  They have Master of Puppets.  SWEET.  It's just the chorus.  Sheeeet.  I'm up sheeeet creek without a paddle.

Luckily, there exist many people on the internets who are orders of magnitude smarter than I am.  Using this article, iTunes, and my handy new Motorola PC Bluetooth adapter, I cut the song to the appropriate 30-second chunk, reduced the bitrate, and then copied it to my phone.  Presto, I now have the greatest ringtone ever.

And if you disagree with me on that last point, then I politely suggest that you go suck on a tailpipe.

That is all.  Thank you.